Dear blogger,

I guess lyrics speak for themselves. I was actually listening to the radio today, when this song came along. I've never heard it before in my life, but it seemed like who ever wrote this song must have been in my situation before. Musicians are amazing.

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...

Don't speak, No Doubt

Dear blogger,

One day I think a certain way, and on other occasions, things change. It seems I'm always doubting. Everything.

Dear blogger,

I really like the lyrics of this song, but not so much the song.

Was it love, or just something that reminded me of
Something that felt a lot
like, but wasn’t, love
Just friends, friends then, until the end
You
know I still pretend, just friends.

Take a step and come out of the
shade
I can tell you’re no longer afraid
I’m helpless without your
warming smile
Take a step and come out in the sun
I can tell it’s
already begun
I’m helpless without your warming smile

Was it love, I
think it was but I’m far from sure
I’d never felt that way before, was it
love?
Just friends, am I a fool to be asking for,
a fool to wish that we
could be more than friends

Take a step and come out of the shade
I
can tell you’re no longer afraid
I’m helpless without your warming smile
Take a step and come out here in the sun
I can tell it’s already begun
I’m helpless without you,
Helpless without you,
Helpless without
your warming smile
Your warming smile

Dear blogger,

Who the hell do you think you are? And I was thinking about being a good friend. Yeah, I cared about you. A whole lot actually. And every single time I spend so much time and effort on a friendship, it gets crushed. The worst part? I don't even get an explanation. All that happens is that I have to somehow find out later on. When it's too late. Now I have to face you every day and know that in your mind, I'm no longer worth half as much as I used to. I thought we had something. Something magical.
Instead, I just let my emotions get the best of me, and I was disappointed in the end. There are just so many assholes in this world, and I don't even know why I bother wasting my time. ASDKJAHFRAFKLJSDFNDSKJSDOIE. Honestly, I thought more of you.
Two weeks ago, everything was going so smoothly. I thought we would be great friends until the end, and that you would help me get through rough times. Times like these. I recently had to make some hard decisions, and as much as I don't want to move, I still want to leave this place. I want to start over. When you do something like this, it makes me doubt even more. Why do people have to be so confusing? I come into school one day, and you look like something is bothering you. I ask you what's wrong and you reply by saying "nothing." Next day, you act as if I don't exist and leave. Same trend continues for a week while you are still pretending like we don't know each other. Yesterday, you look through me as if I am invisible. My side of the story: starting the first day, I worried me so much, so I decide to call you after school. You answer and no one talks. We're both just waiting for an excuse to hang up. At this point, I already know what I want to say, but the words can't form. The next day, I want to talk to you, but I find no opportunity to. Same trend for the next couple of days. By now, I already know exactly what I want to tell you, but it's so hard to talk to some body who doesn't even give a damn about what you think. I keep putting it off, and now, I don't know if I'll ever get a chance to tell you that;
"I don't think this is the most appropriate time to talk, but it's probably one of the only times to do so. I know it's probably already too late to say this, but I don't care. All I have to do is say it out loud so I'll have no regrets. There's been a lot going on these couple of weeks, and I know that more than anything since I had to make a lot of tough decisions. It makes things so much harder when I know that there's something going with you. I don't know you very well, but I know you well enough to see that there's something bothering you. You can't tell me not to be concerned because that's just who I am, and what I do. You are already more than aware that all I ever what to try and do is be a good friend. I live for others, that's what I do. If you don't want to do any more about this relationship, that's your choice and I can't do anything about it. I've already done everything I possibly could. but now it's up to you. I guess your response to this will determine the state of our friendship."

Dear blogger,

Help me.

Dear blogger,

It’s pretty much official that I’m leaving my high school. Five more months, and it’s farewell for me. At first, when my parents first mentioned the fact that I should go to an all girls’ school to concentrate more on my studies, I doubted them. Now, everyday after school I get bombarded with lectures and reasons why I should leave. I totally understand what they mean when they say that the environment there will help me aim for a better future, but what about the other side of it? Aren’t I not still a teenager? The best years of my life are right now.

For the last two years, I feel that I have changed completely. I came into high school after a break-up and I thought that I had already lived through the best time of my life. Obviously I was proven wrong. Every single person I met in high school helped to form me into the Michelle I am today. Times can be stressful at school and at home, but these people that I love the most allow me to go through each day knowing I had a purpose. I can’t lie, during some weekends I just wish Monday can come more quickly because I know I will get to see them again. The time we had together may not have been long, but the memories we had were timeless.

I just don’t feel that transferring to another school is necessarily the only way for me to improve my grades. There are plenty of good influences around me, but I just feel as if my parents keep pushing the limit. I will do well for both mine and their benefit, but that includes self motivation. How will I get that if I’m put in a place I don’t even want to be in?

Now the more I feel settled into my school, I know that I have to leave. My friends will still be there, but I won’t.